prayer for indifference
Lord, you know that I would like to serve you but that I am still attached to my work and to my judgment; that I am constantly scurrying back into myself to survey everything for my angle of vision: that I do this in order not to do that, that I desire this and loathe that.
Whereas you showed us in every moment of your earthly life, and especially on the Cross, what it means to do the will of another. For you this other was the Father, the Father who is so perfect that you regarded every one of his decisions as perfect and accepted it in advance, without sizing it up first yourself.
Not because of any judgment you might have arrived at after trying and weighing each case, but out of love. Your love for the Father took the place of your personal scrutiny once and for all.
And you have also given the gift of this love to your saints; and your saint Ignatius has spoken and has written about it and has shown how the will of the superior, the will of the Father, the divine will pure and simple, is the decision motive for the one who loves, for the one who no longer cares for anything but the wish of the beloved.
Grant us a share in this power of your Sonship, allow us to learn to love the Father in the way that you love him, to come to home through you and your filial attitude, to become obedient by the strength of your perfect obedience, to become indifferent by your indifference.
Grant that we may no longer seek our own interests in anything, but that, together with your saint Ignatius, our interest may go immediately to you, and we ourselves may become indifferent to the very core of our heart; not in order to lose all interest in you and the world, but in order to begin, at long last, to love you and the Father in the Holy Spirit above all things. Amen.
- Adrienne von Speyr, With God and With Men: Prayers, 29-31