prayer of an old nun

Dear God, you know that I became a nun in order to serve you and that my decision was not exactly easy.

You gave me confidence back then; I knew that you had chosen this way for me yourself. And you have given me from day to day my whole life long new courage to try to offer you everything.

But you know how it goes in a life that is supposed to be consecrated to you: both the small and the relatively big sacrifices recur in a sort of regular rhythm, so that one gets a little used to them.

And now you are asking for a really big sacrifice: I am supposed to put back in your hands my life as a nun just as you gave it to me. I cannot walk any longer, I cannot work, I cannot choose myself what to offer to you throughout the day. Sacrifice has now taken on a different form: I must simply accept everything and can only offer you again and again the prayer that all may be done according to your will.

Show me, I ask you, how to do this, so that you may be pleased, so that you can recognize in me your own service, so that it is no longer I, but you in me, who perform it, you with your Mother and with all the saints.

This doing will thus become fruitful and partake of the fruitfulness of every hour of your life.

I pray you, do not let me grow weary, even in my weariness, of offering up everything to you. And bless this suffering, for your whole Church and for all who seek the way to you. Amen.

  • Adrienne von Speyr, With God and With Men: Prayers, 42-44